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In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, retired professor and artist Robert G. Fishman describes how his mother’s dementia changed his understanding of memory and caregiving. He says a series of progressively simplified landscapes helped him stop trying to make her remember and focus instead on their continuing relationship.
Artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman says a series of paintings shaped by his mother’s dementia helped him stop trying to correct her memory and focus on the connection they still share. In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, Fishman recounts how he used increasingly simplified landscapes to make sense of memory loss and his own response to it.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother daily after she was widowed in 1999 and initially explained small changes as normal aging. In late 2023, after noticing she struggled to use her phones, he visited her Florida apartment and found it in sharply deteriorated condition, with an empty refrigerator and a strong smell of cat urine. He says she did not notice the odor and maintained that everything was fine.
A neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, according to Fishman, but his mother rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing. He says their phone conversations had obscured the extent of the changes. She later moved from Florida to Maryland, nearer to family, and eventually entered a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home.
As Fishman describes it, his response initially included frustration, attempts to correct her and anger when she could not do familiar tasks. He returned to painting after retiring and began making landscapes that shed detail with each version. He later recognized the process as a way to picture his mother’s changing memory. Four paintings became the series he calls “The Art of Forgetting.”
A Shift From Correction to Connection
Fishman’s account centers on a change in how he approaches visits: rather than trying to make his mother remember or bring her into his understanding of events, he says he now enters her world. He writes that familiar emotion, recognition, voice and relationship can remain even as memories fade. That is his personal interpretation of his mother’s experience, not a clinical finding about dementia in general.
The essay may resonate with families who recognize the strain of adjusting to a relative’s cognitive changes. Fishman describes guilt as well as grief, including disliking how he sometimes spoke to his mother. His paintings became a way to work through feelings he had struggled to express and to reconsider what connection could look like as her abilities changed.
The piece also makes clear that practical changes did not settle the emotional difficulty. Moving his mother closer and later arranging memory care addressed parts of her day-to-day situation, he writes, but did not immediately resolve his own struggle with the changes.
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From Florida to Maryland Care
Fishman says his mother lived alone in Florida after being widowed twice. At about 91, she moved into an independent living facility because she no longer wanted to cook or clean. He began noticing changes a few years later, but says he did not understand their extent until his late-2023 visit.
His family history affected how he interpreted what was happening. Fishman writes that his maternal grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at 73 and died seven years later, and that his mother had feared a similar future. When his mother was still doing well at 93, he believed she might have escaped that fate. He presents this as part of his own thinking at the time, not as evidence about dementia risk.
Fishman is a retired college professor and nonprofit executive, as well as a visual artist and author, according to Being Patient. The publication says his experience with his mother inspired both the painting series and his children’s book, Bubby’s Still Here.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, recounting his mother’s response to assisted living
Limits of the Personal Account
The essay does not identify the specific type of dementia affecting Fishman’s mother or provide details about her current symptoms, medical care or prognosis. It also does not say whether she received further diagnostic testing after declining it following the neurologist’s assessment.
Fishman’s account is a personal essay, not a clinical report or a study of caregiving outcomes. The source describes what painting meant to him; it does not establish that art has the same effect for other caregivers or people living with dementia.
Fishman’s Continuing Visits
Fishman says his mother now lives in a memory care unit close to his home and that he visits her. The essay does not announce a forthcoming research project, care change or new publication date. Its immediate focus is the ongoing relationship: Fishman says he has shifted from testing his mother’s memory to spending time with her in the present.
Being Patient identifies Fishman’s book, Bubby’s Still Here, and his painting series as works inspired by his experience. The source provides no additional release or exhibition schedule.
Key Questions
What is the news in this story?
Being Patient published a first-person essay by Robert G. Fishman on October 7, 2026, about how painting helped him respond differently to his mother’s dementia.
What is “The Art of Forgetting”?
It is the name Fishman gives to a group of four paintings that developed from his work on landscapes that progressively lost detail. He says the paintings helped him understand his mother’s changing memory.
What happened to Fishman’s mother?
Fishman writes that a neurologist diagnosed her with early-stage dementia. He says she rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing; the essay does not specify her dementia type.
Where is Fishman’s mother now?
According to the essay, she lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from Fishman’s home, and he visits her there.
Does the essay say painting treats dementia?
No. Fishman describes painting as a way that helped him process his own feelings and understand his mother’s experience. The account does not claim that painting treats or changes dementia.
Source: rss
